Better late than never....

Happy 29th Birthday to me!  The pictures were a little slow making it from the camera to the blog - the brownies are long gone! :)

If you know my wonderful hubby very well, you'll know that this is his work of art... with a little help from Miss Makenzie of course! :) LOVE them!

Life is good....

when you can eat strawberries right out of the garden!

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

My neighbors are seriously AMAZING and they're making me think twice about this grand plan of selling our house!  They're great friends, their daughters are great babysitters and they tolerate the fact that we let the lawn (and weeds) grow way to tall.  They don't seem to mind the children occasionally screaming their heads off in the back yard, if they've heard me screaming my head off at my wild crazy beasts children they certainly don't admit it and they even welcome Miss Makenzie when she invites herself over to their house (every time she sees them outside).  We seriously couldn't ask for better neighbors! 

Tonight we were standing in the back yard, visiting across the fence and James offered to mow our lawn the ENTIRE time Tom is gone for National Guard officer training.  I've been more than a little stressed about this whole deal and just today was thinking it was time to move myself out of denial and into the "figure out how to deal with it" stage.  And then my dear neighbors blessed me beyond words!  Taking care of the lawn and getting out the door on work days have been my 2 biggest stressors in all of this....and now I can check one of those off the list.  Thank you James & Amber!  The other has been mitigated a little by the fact that my parents will be back in town before Tom leaves, so if all else fails I can pack up kids, makeup, hairdryer etc and run to my parents in the morning!   I hope I can manage well enough that we don't have to resort to that (at least not too many times), but it is nice to know we'll have that option.  :) 

Answered Prayers....

Now that the dust has settled from Friday's trial, I have to share with you the BEST part of the story.....God answered prayers!!  Over and over again God answered prayers!  When this case first started and I was appointed, I was nothing less than a nervous wreck.  I knew from day 1 this case was going to be difficult (something better suited for someone who has been in practice a whole lot more than 3 years).  I felt totally inadequate and worried that I wasn't going to be able to do a good enough job for my clients --simply because I didn't know what I was doing!  But I'm here to tell you, God is faithful!

Early on in this case, I prayed and prayed for help--I was at a loss, not even knowing how to help this family and frustrated that DHHS wasn't providing the help I thought they needed--but it was a wierd enough situation that I didn't even know where to turn or who might be able to offer the kind of help they need.  In comes answered prayer #1 -- after praying and stressing and stewing about where to turn for help, I remembered (I'm convinced it was more like God reminded me!) of a psychologist in Scottsbluff whom I had heard speak on infant mental health.  On a whim I called his office, explained the situation and asked for advice.  His office recommended I get in touch with a certain therapist in Kearney....so the next day I started trying to get in touch with her.  After literally almost 2 weeks of phone tag, I finally got to talk to her....in the mean time, her voicemail message had told me on numerous occasions that she wasn't taking new medicaid clients.  Umm...that's a problem because the only way I have to pay for her services is through the child's medicaid....and even that is only with HHS's approval.  If HHS referred the child to another therapist, the most I could do would be to get a 2nd opinion from her....and that would require court and county approval all of which could take several weeks.  Time was something that I didn't have - it could take several weeks to get an appointment once I knew I had funding for the appointment, and the 1st hearing was only DAYS away. 

When I finally got to talk to this particular therapist, she told me, "Unfortunately I don't think I can visit with you much about this case, because I actually just received a referral from [HHS worker] to see this child.  Coincidence??  I think not....more like answered prayer #2....although at the time I was busy being frustrated by the fact that she couldn't talk me me....I didn't know just how HUGE this answer would be!  This therapist who I was told was one of the best in the area, who wasn't taking new medicaid clients is now seeing my kiddo (a new medicaid client). 

Fast forward to the beginning of last week.....I was still freaking out (and praying, but probably should have been praying and trusting more, freaking out less).  HHS was being less than cooperative and had refused to release any evaluations to me.  They also wouldn't sign authorizations for me to speak to any of the therapists involved....so I had no idea what evidence was/wasn't out there....not a good way to head to trial.  In comes answered prayer #3....the child's attorney gets frustrated with HHS and starts essentially leaking me information (not illegally....he's authorized to talk to whoever he wants, but HHS certainly didn't want him talking to me) and through a number of conversations I find out that this same therapist (see answered prayer #1 and 2) is very supportive of my clients and exactly the person I need to have testify at the hearing on Friday.  There are only 2 problems...(1) I still can't talk to the therapist so I really don't know what she's going to say and (2) its too late to get a subpoena to compel her to be there and I can't talk to her to ask her to be there.  So, I leave her voice mail messages, send messages with my clients, and ask the child's attorney to beg her to appear....and answered prayer #4...she's there friday!  With less than 2 days notice, she clears her schedule and appears in court totally voluntarily! (UNHEARD of in the world of mental health experts!) 

So maybe a better title to my last post is "Prayer pays off" because truly I think the result on Friday had a whole lot more to do with God than with my preparation!  I LOVE when I can sit back and see God's hand in my life and in my activities.  It's something I need to spend more time thinking about and focusing on.  I know He is involved in every aspect of my life, everything I do--and yet, days can go by where I don't stop to see him working.  I get so caught up in the little details, the little annoyances, the busyness of life that I don't see the big picture - God working everything together for His purposes.  What a joy to get to play a role in His story!

Preparation Pays Off....

Just a quick note to say all the hard week and long hour working over the last several weeks totally paid off today!  Trial is over.....it turned into 4 hours of negotation via email, 2 hours of negotiation at the courthouse, then a major blow up and nearly 2 hours of trial.....only to enter into the exact same plea agreement we had started at 8 am this morning.   I firmly believe we wouldn't have gotten there without all the time I had put in (for instance, all my witnesses were there and ready for trial and the state didn't have a SINGLE witness there)....the county attorney ended up calling "my" therapist as his own witness because she was the only expert witness. (Not "my" as in mine personally, but the therapist I had subpoenaed to be there because I knew she was going to testify very favorably for my clients). 

I'm not gonna lie, it was a little hard not to sit at the counsel table with a smug smile on my face....I definitely haven't mastered a "poker face" in the courtroom.  The end result was great - I truly don't think my clients could have gotten a better result out of the whole deal.   And the best part of this coming to an end.....the 3 day weekend is here! :)  After spending all afternoon fighting for somebody else's babies, I'm looking forward to lots of time with my own babes this weekend!! 

A Hard Week, but A Great Day Off!

This week just really stinks....there's really not a nicer way to say it!  I have a major trial on Friday--starting at 1, running until who knows when (the last one went until after 8 pm).  Emotions are WAY to high by all the parties, we're in what appears to be a major control battle with HHS, my clients have a whole lot to lose if the case doesn't go in their favor, and I found out today that apparently the State is going to have a therapist testify who has nothing good to say about my clients....although this therapist has actually never met my clients.  And, for the last two months this case has demanded so much of my time and attention that every other client has been basically put on hold.....it feels a little like all my other cases/clients are like the little wooden jenga blocks.....in a pile and about to collapse with even the slightest movement.  UGH - needless to say my stress level (and probably blood pressure) are WAY to high! 

It's weeks like these that make me want to quit my job, to run from it all and spend all day every day home with my kids.  It makes me wonder why I bother even taking these heartbreaking juvenile cases--that take all my time and energy, are rarely rewarding and don't even pay 2/3 of my regular hourly billing rate.  But truth be told, when I look beyond my current circumstances....when I look at the big picture rather than my current struggle, I know I'm here for a reason and I know I was appointed to these cases for a reason, and I can trust that as Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength."   And I love how, in the midst of work misery, I get to spend a day off with my kids---and how God knows that I needed a break from the challenge that parenting can be....and He gave me just that!  A truly fun day with my beautiful babies - we snuggled on the couch and watched Curious George and Cat in the Hat this morning, went swimming at the Y, Focus on the Family podcast while the kids napped and when the kids were up (and it was finally done raining...at least for a couple hours) we played outside until supper time!  I LOVE days like this....now if I can just muster the strength to get through the week, I get 4 solid days with my kiddos and hubby and I don't have to think about work again until June!  :)   

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