Unsettled

I have about a million thoughts floating around in my head - so I hope I can get at least a few of them into one semi-coherent blog post. :) 

Last year I read the book Made to Crave (A MUST READ book!!)  One of the things that really hit me as I was reading and has stuck with me was Lysa's prayer "unsettle me" --it was a New Year and instead of lengthy resolutions that she'd never stick with, her prayer was a simple one, "unsettle me in the best kind of way.  For when I allow Your touch to reach the deepest parts of me - dark and dingy and hidden away too long --suddenly a fresh wind of life twists and twirls and dances through my soul."   I'm not sure why this resonated with my heart as much as it did - perhaps because I like nothing more than to be settled, perhaps because I long for peace, and order and consistency and routine, and perhaps because God was about to show me that it was time for a little "shaking up" to make room for the fresh and new He was longing to bring in. 

For several months now, I've gone back to that prayer - Unsettle me Lord, show me where I'm settling for less than your best, show me where I've missed the boat.  Don't let me settle in and get comfy if this isn't the place I'm supposed to getting comfy.  God has been SO faithful! 

Last year I felt God continuously unsettling me about the "busy-ness" of our lives.  With three kids, working 3 days a week, Tom in the National Guard and working full time, church activities, social activities etc. etc.....I don't need to tell you, life was (is) busy!  I had convinced myself that this was just life....especially life with three littles.  In my mind, this is just how it was supposed to be, and how it was going to be for the next 18+ years, and eventually (probably sooner than I would like!) the kids would be grown and life would slow down.   As last year progressed, I felt God telling me it was time to make some changes, time to slow down this crazy life we were living --and though it took me several months to realize it, one of the ways he was calling me to make this change was in my work.  This was hard and I'm not going to lie, God and I had more than one "battle" over this.  I hope you'll hear me out here and not pass judgment -- for the last 7+ years, I've felt like I really sought out God's will and followed his will with respect to my career.  I felt God calling me to go to law school, calling me to do the work that I do in juvenile court.  I was blessed with a job where I was able to work part time and still have time home with my kids and I truly LOVED what I was doing.  I think this is partly why I took it so hard when people criticized my working with young kids -- I was certain this was the work He had called me to do.  This is also why it was hard for me to make a change --why would God call me to quit my job now?  Surely He called me to get my law degree....why would he want me to "waste" it now.....and then doubt crept in, maybe I missed something, maybe God never really called me to go to law school.....what a miserable thought!  God is not a God of doubt and despair....and when I took the time to seek Him out, He was again faithful.  Through several more weeks of praying and seeking His advice, negotiations with my partners, etc, God revealed His plan.  A plan that would allow me to continue working with the kids and families He has called me to work with but giving me more time with my own kiddos.  He reassured me that He didn't lead me to law school and give me a heart for these "less fortunate" families for no reason at all -- He has a plan and a purpose and He is working it out in my life.

I love Beth Moore's take on this in her devotional on the life of David -- "David received invaluable experience in the process of keeping sheep.  Psalm 78:70-72 states, 'He chose David his servant and took him from the sheep pens; from tending the sheep he brought him to be the shepherd of his people Jacob, of Israel his inheritance.  and David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.'  I believe God takes the building blocks of our lives and uses them for His glory.  Never assume that to follow Him means to throw away who He made you to be.  Few things seem less spiritual than keeping a bunch of smelly sheep, yet God used David's skills for eternal purposes." 
 
I love that and I pray that God continues to use my skills for eternal purposes!!  And lest you think it's time to settle in and get comfy in this new 2 morning a week work schedule.....don't worry, there's still plenty of "unsettling" going on.  He's still been unsettling the stinky attitude I'm prone to having towards my hubby and kids, unsettling the financial "goals" I've set and encouraging me to spend my money on things that make an eternal difference instead of building up "treasure" that doesn't matter, unsettling the lifestyle I've been living and utilizing the margin we've created by working less to add in some "better" things....like exercise and time to focus more on health.  That's a blog post for another day! :)  I have to say though - for a girl who likes stability and consistency, this unsettling has been refreshing!

2012 in review.....and new goals fora new year

Last year I decided it was time to set some goals --make sure I was actually doing something my year instead of letting it just fly by.  And I actually did pretty well --I managed to blog once about my progress and then we added baby #3 and well, life got a little crazy.  There were definitely days where I was doing well to just get a shower :) but 8 1/2 months later, we're all still alive and I think I can honestly say, it was a good year! 

Here's the quick run down on how 2012 shaped up:

* I managed to read MORE than 6 books this year --I was trying to figure out exactly how many and I can't honestly tell you.  In April I was already at 5 for the year--after that I started on Francine Rivers but they were too long (or my attention span was too short) so those had to wait for another day.  I read most of Max Lucado's Outlive your Life, most of Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity....and I'm pretty  sure I read a couple others but for the life of me I can't think of them off the top of my head.  I started Francis Chan's Crazy Love --finishing this will be first on the list for 2013!

* Be more strategic with my kiddos --  Progress here definitely went in spurts...some days were really good, some days probably shouldn't be blogged about! :)  I really liked the goal sheets(here's a link to my 1st post about them) from Focus on the Family that I used last year--we will definitely be using those again this year!  This clearly isn't the kind of goal you do once and call it good....so it's on the list for 2013 too!

* Make at least one positive change -- This turned into some pretty major changes at work.  In the spring, I started cutting back on the court appointments I was taking so that I didn't have as many court hearings on my days off, but I still felt like there just wasn't enough of me to go around.  After lots of praying, thinking, talking, going crazy.....I decided to cut back my work even more and starting next week, I'll just be working Monday and Wednesday mornings.  To be honest, I'm really not sure how this will work but we're going to give it a try.  I'll probably have to return some phone calls during nap times but overall, I have high hopes that this will give me lots more time with my kids while still getting to do the work I love.  (And it ensures that I'm around to pick up Miss Makenzie from school everyday when she starts Kindergarten in August....but we're not talking about the "K" word because it makes me want to cry!)

* Get organized at home.  Pretty sure there is always room for improvement here but we definitely did well in this area!  Early last year we flipped the house and moved everybody to the basement --slowly but surely, I've gone through just about every closet/cupboard in the house and cleaned stuff out.  The highlight --making $200 on "crap" that I sold on facebook! :) 

Okay, enough on 2012....here's the new goals for the new year:

1.  Make my own health/well-being more of a priority.  I find that I get so focused on everything else that I forget to take care of myself....and I haven't worked out since I was about 3 months pregnant with Gracyn.  I've been thinking about this for a while but didn't think I could cram one more thing into my already to busy schedule.  Now that I'm working less, I decided to take a little "me-time" on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and I signed up for boot camp at the Y!  I'm super excited and fairly terrified all at the same time.  I'm hoping by spring to be squeezing in a few more workouts, but twice a week is a starting point!

2.  Keep reading....6 more books in 2013!  I've said it before, but I LOVE to read --it's just hard to make time for it.  Here's my list (although its subject to change without notice!):  Finish Crazy Love, then (in no particular order):  Multiply by Francis Chan, Kisses from Kate, Fearless by Max Lucado, Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst, and probably perusing/rereading Love and Logic about 50 times throughout the year as necessary!

3.  Memorize more scripture--me personally and with my kiddos. 

4.  Make a few home improvements/decorating/painting etc. --nothing major, particularly given that we're planning to build in the {hopefully near} future!   Living room lights and painting trim were 2012 projects that didn't get finished, so those get put back on the list for this year!  Our living room lights (or lack thereof) has driven me crazy for the 5 1/2 years we've been in this house....and now that two of them don't work, I can hardly stand to be in my house in the evenings because it's SO dark.  We had one electrician come look and he was going to come back after harvest to do the work.....and I haven't heard from him since.  So yesterday I called electrician #2 so hopefully we're well on our  way to accomplishing this goal!  I'd also like to find a new headboard for the guest bedroom and redecorate the dining room/end of the living room wall.  We've had the same shelves up since we moved in and it's time for a change.  Going to have to enlist the help of my sister in law on this!! 

5.  Redecorate my office at work.  I've been supposed to do this since I started working there 4 years ago.  I took over the office of the oldest partner (now retired) and he decorated in in the early 90's when they moved to the current building.  Picture: Ivory wall paper on the top half of the walls, burgundy wall paper on the bottom and carpet and a chair rail height wall paper border with eagles on it.....not exactly my style, but I haven't been able to decide what to do.  It's time to do something....I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any great ideas (or names for interior decorators!)

6.  Set goals with (and for) my kids and accomplish them!  (see the link above) 

Here's to a fantastic 2013!!

Back on the bandwagon

Sorry friends, apparently I fell off the blogger bandwagon for, oh you know, 2 months!  It’s 9:00 on a Friday night, all 3 kids are sleeping and all I want to do is join them….but here’s a “quick 5” update for ya’ll on what we’ve been doing in the last 2 months!

1.  The kids and I spent a week last month in October with most of my family.  Poor Tom had to stay home –between work and National Guard drill, he just couldn’t get away.   We had a great time….but I won’t be taking any vacations with 3 kids by myself any time soon!  I can’t tell you how thankful I was to have my family there to help!!

2. House plans are in full swing –actually we have house plans in our hands and now we’re visiting with a few builders and getting bids so we can get one hired and hopefully start on a new house in the spring {its contingent on a few things, but I have high hopes that everything will fall into place so we can start soon}

3.  Major work changes are on the horizon!!  I can’t share a lot about this just yet –I’m staying at the same firm just making some changes to make it more do-able with 3 kids and I’m super excited about it!

4.  My baby girl is already six {and a half} months old, she talks all the time, giggles, rolls and LOVES go be right in the middle of all the excitement her big brother and sister create.  Where does the time go??  Gracyn is such a sweet baby, she’s happy most of the time and wakes up every morning with a smile on her face, wiggling with delight.  Love her! 

5.  My other baby girl turned FIVE last week.  Crazy!  Seriously, where does the time go??  It seems like just a few months ago that I was waddling the halls of the law school….and now she’s in preschool and telling me she’s ALMOST six (you know…only 51 more weeks!) Love, love love that girl!  She’s such a sweet big sister, she loves to help out (thank you God!), and she has an infectious smile and giggle!  I don’t know what we’d do without her! 

And because I can’t leave my Micah man out, you get a bonus quick 6.  We’re working on potty training….with lots of bribing positive reinforcement.  Seriously, I’m pretty sure Micah’s new motto could be “will poop for hotwheels cars.”  Sigh.  Some day he will be potty trained.  I’m sure of it….I just hope we both live to see that day!   Micah is ALL BOY, he lives for his tractors {and trailers….and please don’t make the mistake of buying him a tractor without a trailer….it will cause a meltdown because tractors NEED trailers}

I’ve had a ton more on my mind and heart lately….and at least 50 “deep” blog posts written in my head.  Maybe someday they’ll actually make it on here!  Happy weekend friends! 

Summer Fun {Picture update!}

Swimmin’ with daddy Bein’ extra cute	Hangin’ with our cousins Goin’ to the zoo
Picnicin’ a Eagle Point Park	Lovin’ on baby sister

p.s. – Anybody else think the makers of the Moby wrap ought to pay me for the free advertising?

Creating a Legacy

We spent this weekend in Dubuque IA celebrating Tom’s Grammy’s 90th birthday – SO, SO much fun!  We celebrated Grampy’s 90th in Florida in January 2008, but they aren’t as mobile as they were then, so we all traveled to them for this celebration!   Tom’s grandparents are SO fun –they’ve been married 66 years, traveled all over the world together (like even kayaking in Antarctica), raised 4 kids and until last year, they still lived in the home that they built when their kids were young.  (Last year they moved into an independent/assisted living type apartment.) 
Spending time with them this weekend got me really thinking about the legacy I want to leave—and realizing what an amazing legacy his grandparents have created.
I couldn’t find an electronic copy of their wedding picture – but here are Tom’s grandparents with their first child.
 
And here’s the picture I took last weekend – seriously, I hope I look this good at 90!

And here are their 4 kids – then and now….

And after 66 years of marriage and raising 4 children – they get to enjoy 6 grandkids (1 wasn’t able to make it) and 10 great grandbabies (The 1 grandson who couldn’t make it has twin 13 month old boys). 


I imagine that Grammy had days when she yelled at her kids, maybe crabbed at her hubby, wanted to pull her hair out, wanted to throw in the towel….you know some of THOSE days that we all know all to well.  But she and Grampy stayed the course – they stayed committed to each other and to the daunting task of parenthood….and 66 years later, what an amazing story they have!  And what a sweet, sweet reminder of the bigger story, the bigger picture that can be all to difficult to see when you’re “stuck” in the day to day job of changing diapers, feeding babies, breaking up fights, cooking, cleaning and washing the 17th load of laundry.

A Day Worthy of A Blog

You may have seen my facebook posts, but I figure yesterdays excitement is worthy of a blog post too!!  We spent the weekend in Dubuque Iowa for Tom’s Grammy’s 90th birthday –SUCH a fun weekend….more on that in another post when all the babies are healthy! 

Friday night/early Saturday morning (like 3 am early), I was up nursing Gracyn and I could hear Micah making this awful wheezing sound when he breathed.  I knew I didn’t dare stop nursing Gracyn or she would scream her little head off and wake everyone else, so I nudged Tom to go check on Micah.  He picked him up and took him into the bathroom and the poor little guy had spiked a fever and started in on this awful cough.  It was seriously a cough I’ve never heard before – I don’t even know how to describe it.  Definitely not the dry, hacky cough you sometimes get with a winter cold….this sounded deep and rattly and sometimes almost like the barking that seals do. 

He continued off and on with the cough and fever all weekend…..but also had periods where he had no tylenol, no fever and seemed fine.  He played at the park, swam in the motel pool and was his usual ornery self…..then he’d start fevering and coughing and snuggle into my lap for a while.  When he was still coughing all the way home Monday, I decided I was taking him into the clinic first thing Tuesday morning.

And on our way to the clinic I had a friendly encounter with a very generous State Trooper –who reminded me that I was driving too fast and needed to slow down….thankfully with just a warning.  My children on the other hand – not quite so generous!  Makenzie reminded me all day yesterday –“mom it’s not good to speed…why were you speeding…did you know you were speeding….you know if you speed you’ll have to give the cop all your money…and on and on and on she went ALL DAY.  Micah man so kindly told EVERYONE at the doctors office, “my mommy speeded and the cop made us stop.”  Love them! 

We made it to the clinic….5 minutes late! And then waited for 30 more minutes in the waiting room….guess I didn’t need to hurry quite so much to get there!  The doctor gave Micah man an antiobiotic…..and then he got worse.  The poor guy just faded as the day went on.  He woke up from his nap coughing around 3:00 yesterday and NEVER stopped.  By 5 I was giving him phenergan with codine that we had in the closet from his last episode of coughing – then I dropped him off at Grandma’s so we could go to Makenzie’s preschool open house.  When we picked him back up at 7 he looked worse than he had looked all day and was still coughing –the cough medicine didn’t do a thing.  I called the ER and talked to the PA on call who recommended more cough medicine and tylenol…..gave him that and he coughed so bad he puked it right back up, so we headed to the ER.  

And in case that wasn’t enough excitement for 1 day – Tom called me as I was driving to the ER (keep in mind it’s literally 3 blocks from our house!) to say that Makenzie was throwing up.  (Thankfully that was all over and she was sleeping soundly by the time I got home with Micah!)  Gracyn went along with me to the ER so I could feed her when necessary – and thankfully my wonderful mama met us there a short time later and helped me care for both kiddos.  Seriously I don’t know what we’d do without grandparents around!!

At the ER, they drew his blood to test for pertussis (whooping cough), gave him 2 breathing treatments (the albuterol one didn’t phase the coughing but turned him into his naughty self for a few minutes and he was swatting at me and trying to escape our little ER room….thankfully that wore off pretty quickly!), gave him a rocephin shot in the leg (OUCH!!), took 2 chest x-rays to make sure he hadn’t swallowed something that was irritating his airway and 4 hours later sent us home with steroids to take for the next 4 days.  He did sleep pretty well after we got home, so I’m hopeful he’s on the mend! 

Makenzie has a bit of a cough today (she’d like to think it’s MUCH worse than it is ) and Gracyn seems to be healthy! 

Update courtesy of my new bffs: Iphone & Instagram

I have a new love in my life….my iPhone….and the camera on my phone!  It’s definitely not my Canon camera (another love), but SUCH an improvement over my last phone camera!

Warning before you start scrolling—the captions are all sorts of messed up…..but you can probably figure out which caption goes with which picture.  For some reason auto format is killing me tonight--it keeps moving my captions around. 

Seriously, how adorable is this girl!! 

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it when these two get along! Makenzie was “reading” to Micah!

Swimming in the backyard!

Biking in Breckenridge –4 adults + 3 kids (one on a tagalong, one on a “wee-hoo” and one in a trailer.  We looked a little like a traveling circus….but this little circus made it nearly 10 miles round trip!! 

Love these two—and iPads…seriously, what did we do without them!