Convicted....

I have to admit, I've been acutely aware of my need for God lately. I can see it in my marriage, I can see it in my parenting, my interactions with my kids (particularly my testing 2 year old), at work, with friends.....I know that God has been tugging at my heart, gently calling me back to a place that I was in college....not a physical place but a place in my life where I was deeply connected to him. Where I longed to serve Him, and serve others for His glory. Where I longed to dig into His word. Where I actively sought His will for my life. The other day I was getting spending my free time (aka nap time!) perusing blogs and through a series of "clicks" I came across this one. (Renee Meyer, the author of this post is married to the pastor who married Tom and I....and he was SUCH a blessing to Tom and I during our college years and as we prepared for marriage!! The two of them were married after we were, and Tom and I actually left the college group (or aged out!!) where Matt Meyer was pastor....so I don't really know Renee, but I like to think I do).

Anyway, her post was SO, SO convicting!! I don't even want to admit how often I struggle with resentment, and how often that resentment is towards my husband (the man I love the most, the man I CHOSE to marry--but I will tell you I want to be free from the ugliness that is resentment! And just like Renee wrote, the ticket to freedom is in laying my life down....in freely choosing to do so. My choice, my action. No one takes it from me. There is no one to resent. John 10:17-18....I lay down my life so that I may take it again. No one has taken it away from me, but I lay it down on my own initiative...